After Shaun Died
by coffeeaddict111
Summary: How I see my character progressing after his death. There's a more positive part 2 on my page!


It had been many weeks after the event that took place on the second floor of the institute, when Shaun was taken from the world yet again. The commonwealth still lived on as a dangerous wasteland where no one was safe. She used to dream of a reality where things were different, where she made the right choices to save the world from continuous destruction. She imaged a world where people were free and safe, a world where you could walk from one town to the next without being attacked by super mutants. Days passed by where she lay on her bed drinking her soul away because of all the poor choices she made. She blamed everything on herself. She lived in a handmade shelter around the back of Red Rocket Station. It was well lit with a generator that powered the lights and a television. Out the front Dogmeat had his home and his own space to live. At night she'd turn the generator off to sleep in solace, and it allowed her to hear the outdoors. She surrounded herself if many turrets to protect herself from the mutated monsters that lived on the cruel earth. She never felt safe, even with the protection of her companions around her. Every night she drank herself blind drunk in the attempt to forget the thought of Shaun. She wanted it all to be over. It didn't have to be like this. He deserved a childhood, he didn't deserve to live in a world like this, even if he was safe, none of this should have had happened, she told herself. She taught herself to appreciate that his situation was better than most drifters that crossed the lands. If he was above living on the commonwealth he would not have survived as long as he did, he could have mutated, become a raider. He never got to see her grow to be an old woman with his father. He didn't attend school, grow up with childhood friends from the village. He didn't experience his first love.

She fought so long and so hard to find him, when she did he was dying. She didn't want to become emotional in such dangerous times, everyone's priorities were setting up the future, they had to destroy the Brotherhood of Steel. After that was complete, she was drained, it was a long and hard fight and many lives were lost. When it was complete she went to her son one last time, at least she got to say goodbye this time. He had grown up to be a knowledgeable, well spoken man who had achieved so much, so much more than she had thought. She was proud, but her sadness took over. She remembers his last words too clearly, more clearly than she wanted. The scene replayed in her head. He was gone, she lost him all over again. It felt like a nightmare. Her heart was broken, she held Shaun's face in both of her hands and she cried and pleaded for his life. His face was old and grey, he looked like his father. The last time she held him was all those years ago when his skin was so soft and new. She became angry, and a mother's anger should not be messed with, especially after losing her son. She began destroying everything in the room, everything she worked for over the years to find her son, she expected his life. She never gave up hope. Guards and Doctors came in and sedated her, the Doctors took Shaun's body. She woke up on a hospital bed inside the institutes wall in the Medical ward. All the emotion that she had fought so hard to keep had been sucked out of her. There was no point to anything anymore.

Now, she lived everyday without giving a thought for anyone, living in clouds of doubt and self pity. She sent nick to retrieve alcohol and drugs for her, but he soon gave up after seeing her neglect them. She tried to send Piper but she didn't buy a word she said. Piper and Nick stayed at the Red Rocket Station and watched her, to make sure she didn't do anything more stupid than she was already doing. After taking out the Brotherhood of Steel, Piper and Nick questioned her actions because they didn't understand the Institute's purpose. They only saw that she did everything for Shaun, which she did of course, but she believed what Shaun was doing was the right thing to do. The Institute are going to help the future.

She knew that everyone knew that she was responsible for the attack on the Brotherhood of Steel, and everyone disliked her for it. Anywhere she went people would look at her, and shout things at her. She eventually left her home every now and then to gather her supplies. She hid her face with a bandanna. She always went to the Good Neighbor because they were more understanding about what happened. She got involved with crimes, assassinations, taking out groups of people, all in exchange for caps which she used to by drugs and alcohol. Her outlook on life completely changed, if anyone were to get in her way they would soon be introduced to her high tech gun. She became a master at crime, lock picking and terminal hacking at it's fullest. Her sneak was on point and eventually everyone was hiring her to do their dirty work. She enjoyed it, they were jobs where she could release how she was feeling inside. Nothing was stopping her from destroying corpses, no one stopped her from drinking on the job. She did everything without anyone knowing, she dismissed all of her companions because they weren't supportive of the type of work she was doing. After the jobs she would return home late at night, Nick would watch her walk by the broken windows in the Red Rocket Gas station in his chair. She would always stumble home drunk and covered in blood. Nick didn't sleep, he would keep himself busy. Piper had a hut that was built on the opposite side on site of the Red Rocket Station. One night she took too many drugs, she had a bit of everything that kept her up for days, eventually leading to an overdose. Piper walked in on her on the floor passed out, drooling puddles of saliva. She called for Nick and they teleported her to the Institute through her Pipboy where they found her in critical condition. She was cured and she awoke on the beds where she was once allocated before. This time she was strapped down, she was greeted by a female doctor whose face she couldn't deduce, her sight was too blurry.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The doctor said, as she tried so very hard to focus on her face. "We're clearing your system, you nearly died….Shaun wouldn't want this" The doctor said in a passionate voice. As soon as she heard Shaun's name she stopped fighting the handcuffs and tried to look directly at the doctor.

"What the fuck do you mean?" She said at the doctor. "You don't have the right to speak his name!"

"He wouldn't want you to be doing this! You have the opportunity to save lives, help the Institute" The doctor informed her. The doctor walked away, and she continued lying there, being held down. Her expression became saddened and confused. She started crying at the truths that came out the the doctor's mouth.

Two days later she was released from the bed, and her systems were clear of all drugs. She decided that things had to change, she had to change her reputation and continue her sons work. She was determined to change.


End file.
